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Hello... I am and have been angry for a while... I never wanted to get married to my present wife..I was not a christian and I married because I was told I had to We would fight every time sex came up ...she was just that way... I have not touched her for 16 years or so , I mean it ..touched her not even her hand. I dont like her at all... I am her son and she is my mother...I sleep in another room.
She told me 15 years ago to find a girlfriend if I wanted sex. I did find someone that was completely opposite her... she is wonderful ...she and I think alike , we love same things, she is so sexual always after me for 10 years... she has waited for me ... I get togeather with her once a year for 10 years, we talk on the phone, daily, or sometimes walk , but I stay 5 feet away from her.
She understands and is ok.. I have anxiety over it and feel kind of dirty...is that shame or sin? Which I feel comes from her..the feeling like she is dirty. She is not ..she is wonderful... I have fought to get away from her( I understand what the bible says about adultry and it is hard to extracate yourself from that and eventually it becomes your life and then you die and adulters dont go to heaven.
I would tell her every year...I cant do this , its against my beliefs..and i would call it off and in 2 weeks we were back togeather.. I would tell God afer a lot of anxiety , that I would never do this again...and next year I am back with her. I have been saying to myself this is not worth death, and hell, and finally broke away this week. I am hurting, and angry when I see so many christians divorced and I know what the bible says. It says if you marry a woman who is divorced you commit adultry, I am very confused and angry that he and she can do it but I cant divorce and marry this woman who I have loved for 10 years. Please tell me about divorce ..why is this happening when it is sin.
I would also like to mention how God has communicated with me during this time. I mean warned me in a dream and by using people to speak to me unknown to them what they were talking about.
(( Thats another whole subject)) I hear that it can even be possible that you can pick up demons from someone you have linked yourself with..? They will harrass you... I look at my life and say its almost over..I have vapour left ...as our lives are vapour, so I say I can hang on..but oh man I want that woman and am angry about it. I feel God would retract his blessing , I could suffer big time If I dont snap out of it.

As a pastor who has even been preaching on the very issues you are describing I would say several things:

You MUST figure out how to reconcile with your wife emotionally, socially, physically, psychologically, etc. and become physically intimate including having sex. This is IMPERATIVE. You and your wife will need pastoral counseling because of your long years of abusing one another by your failure to respect and honor one another (even physically - see 1 Cor. 7:3-4). You need to seek out immediate help. There is no time to waste in sharing this with your pastor if you have one otherwise I can get you information through a ministry like Focus on the Family that can find you some kind of local help. But you must begin now.

You MUST break this relationship with this other woman and have nothing to do with her. You cannot speak to her in any way (whether on the computer, phone, or in person). To do so is to allow for yourself to be given over to the temptations of Satan which is in part what has happened by what your relationship with your wife has led to (1 Cor. 7:5). You do not lack self-control if you are someone who has been redeemed by Christ and given His Spirit. You can and must be self-controlled in this and no longer speak with this woman.

You MUST turn to the Lord with sincerity of heart in repentance. I'm simply not going to mince words for you. Both of your relationships (with your wife and with this other woman) are shameful and sinful. However, the Lord forgives all those who confess and He cleanses us from our sins. He also restores our hearts if we will trust in Him and walk in obedience to His Word.

Last...know that I am praying for you. You can do what is right because all who have been believed on the Lord Jesus have been made new in him. And as such if you have been received than you are enabled by his Spirit to do and to be the kind of man and husband that you must be.

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Sampson,

I would just like to add that God is able to transform you, your wife, and your marriage. It is not God, but the enemy's lies and you and your wife's sinful responses that are responsible for the condition of your marriage. The enemy would have you believe that you are trapped in a loveless and unsatisfying relationship so that he can rob you of the joy, peace, and contentment that God wants you to have in Christ. That is a lie that Satan wants you to believe so that he can lead you into temptation and destruction. But greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world. God's purpose is to redeem your life in every way. His purpose is to transform each one us, conforming us to the image of his Son, and in so doing to transform our relationships. God wants to make your marriage into something beautiful -- a testament to his grace and glory! Don't believe Satan's lies. Believe in God! Believe in his great power! Believe in his love for you -- a love so great that He gave up his Son for you! Trust in the Almighty whose plans for you are good! Have faith in God! Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths. He will work on your behalf, for the Lord is good!

Cale

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Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!

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