The Bible NETWork ~ Impacting the World for Christ one post at a time!

My youth group does this summer event called World Changers. On this trip, students pay money to work on houses while sharing the gospel with the locals. Meeting the physical need first then the spiritual. I went to a local high shool and never really got involved with anyone.(Never been kissed) Another school that is private is very close to my church. They have been coming with us since a long time friend came back. One of the boys from that school, Matt, comes to my church. I saw him a couple of times before World Changers and thought that he was cute. With all of the excitement of graduation, I didn't really want to get involved with anyone. So, on the ride up to Tupelo, MS, I rode the same bus as him. We talked and kid around. We spent the rest of that day just getting to know each other and I started to like him. When it was time to find out who was on my crew, he was on it. I was, of course, happy about this. The first day of work, we got to talking and this other girl started to flirt with him. (I'm not really a good flirter) He then mentioned that he had a girlfriend of three years. As soon as he said this, I knew that he was off limits. As the week wore on, I grew to like him more. He is a devote Christian, hardworking, smart, kind, and believed many things that I did. His girlfriend's old church was Calvinist and they had asked him to join and before giving them an answer, he researched the religion. That showed me the trait I have always looked for in a guy: spiritual loyalty to God. Even though I knew he was off limits, I wanted to know him better. Now this was last summer and we have talked alot since then. I still can not help but to have feelings for him. I know that there were emotional highs during the trip and that could explain why I felt like I did, but I couldn't quit thinking about him. I thought that when college came I would be able to find someone knew and move on. I have been in college for a semester and still no luck. I don't know if I should just wait and find someone or to tell him how I feel and let him decide. If you could give me some advice, I would greatly appreciated it.

if he is in a long-term relationship then he is, as you say, "off-limits"

you could send him an email, or a short note, saying how much you enjoyed the opportunity of working with him, and how much you enjoyed spending time with another committed Christian.

and then leave it, if he wants to maintain contact then he can .... but you cannot make any more contact than this.

Put yourself in his girlfriend's place, and behave towards him as if - if your roles were reversed - you would like a female contact to behave.

in Christ

Dinah

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This phrase jumped out at me. I've made mistakes like this before. The phrase is playing with fire. If he's off limits and you're attracted to him, step way back. And pray. If it is God's will for him to be a part of your life, He will make a way for you in His perfect timing. If you take matters into your own hands, and pursue a man who is in a serious relationship, well, it could be hurtful for all of you.

God has wonderful plans for you, trust Him with your heart and with your friend. Wishing you the very best. Rebekah

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Formerly NWgardengal

Bamabek,

I believe that part of faith is weakeness. In our weakness, we trust God and obey Him, even when it hurts and is not convenient. Also, I really like what Dinah said - think about how you would want to be treated if you were the other girl. That is key.

Trust God and the rewards will be greater than you can ever imagine. Even if they are not what you expected or wanted.

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Until He Returns (Rev. 2:17),
Travis

During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act. ~George Orwell

Thank you, Travis. I'm going to let God do what he wants and hold back. If I was the other girl then I would be mad as well. So, I'm going to hang back.

firstly you need to be friends with him and forget that he is a boy ,,,,,,, establish friendship first and foremost that is hard thing to do.
sending email , msn , yahoo , skype or whatever just say he and find out how he stands with G-d.

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Hear, O Israel: The Lord our G-d, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your G-d with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

I have established a friendship with him just not a very close one. I know that I need to forget about him being a boy and I'm planning on just being friends. He is straight with God. That I know for sure.

It is hard, I know. Praying for you, sweetie.

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Formerly NWgardengal

A "long term relationship" is not a marriage. This guy is not "off-limits."

It's probably not a good idea for the OP to just go after him hardcore and it's probably not a good idea for her to get her hopes up about a relationship, but there's nothing wrong with getting to know him better and keeping her options open. Lots of people have long-term relationships in high school only to see them fizzle during college.

-Dan.