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PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 10:03 pm 
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I have a question regarding marriage. In the Bible, does God command everyone to get married? Some people quote verses like Genesis 2:18- "Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him." and also Genesis 2:24- "Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him." From those verses, some people say that marriage is a commandment.
In contrast, some argue that marriage isn't a commandment and they use 1 Corinthians 7:25-35 to make their point. I'd like to know more about this and what the Bible clearly teaches us regarding this. Please let me know your view and if there is any other scriptures which give more understanding regarding this.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 10:42 pm 
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I find it amazing that anyone could read 1 Corinthians 7 and maintain the teaching that marriage is compulsory. Marriage is certainly the norm, but the validity of remaining unmarried is so clear in this chapter it's difficult to imagine anyone denying it without some sort of agenda.

As if that weren't sufficient, we also have Jesus' teaching in Matthew 19:12 — and, oh yeah — the example of Jesus Himself.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 11:29 pm 
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@ Obadiah- Thank you for your response. Personally, I feel Paul makes it very clear regarding how Christian Singles should view marriage. However, even today, fellow believers tend to pressure young Christian singles to get married. Some tend to criticize and don't accept other believers who remain single because they feel the Bible teaches marriage to be followed as a commandment. I think in many churches, people stress so much on marriage that it's become very much like an idol (devotion to God is swept away from the center of one's life and instead replaced with marriage). Like I said previously, they'll quote verses like Genesis 2:18, 24. How would you respond to them if they did that?


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 12:07 am 
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First of all, with the material I cited above.

I would reason from that material that the commandment to the human race to be fruitful and multiply is general rather than specific to each and every human being. If they're not willing to accept the examples of Jesus and Paul, I'm really not sure what it will take to persuade them.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 5:21 am 
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I was dating a girl in college and we had talked about marriage. But neither of us had a clue what life was all about back then. We wanted to stay sexually pure until marriage and that didn't happen, and it eventually destroyed our relationship. That was ten years ago. Since then, I have decided to stay single. Not so that I wouldn't be tempted sexually by a girl, but because I am not in a place in life right now where I can support a girlfriend, let alone a wife and children. For me, it is a personal choice, not at all something I would push on anyone else. Marriage is a beautiful thing, but I don't think that is a direction God is leading me, neither do I think He will any time soon. But that could change and I am not opposed to it changing. In fact, I have always wanted a wife and children, but I have chosen to put God's will in my life first and my own desires next.

A large part of why I have chosen to stay single is because of a lot of mistakes I made as a young adult, mostly financial in nature, and have been dealing with the consequenses ever since. That is not something into which I want to drag someone I love. But God is the Boss and if He eventually draws me in that direction, then I will follow.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 6:50 am 
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My daughters and I had this conversation and I went over 1 Corinthians 7 with them and told them that there are benefits to being single and benefits to being married but this was between God and them. The church needs to realize that those who are single can do a lot in ministry as well as those who are married. In addition, we need to let people know that in Christ they are whole and do not need to be married in order to be complete.

My wife and I have been married for 26 years and it has been wonderful and we are still involved in ministry (not full time).


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 6:36 pm 
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@GaryM- Thank you for your response. You made a very important point regarding how marriage doesn't determine one's complete state in Christ.
It's discouraging and hurtful when fellow believers look down on Christian singles. I've seen people gauge a person's spiritual standing and favor from God by the worldly things a person may have (degrees, wealth, being married, having children). No doubt, they are all blessings God can give a person. However, not everyone gets the same things. People will have different types of worldly blessings, but I'm not sure if it is right for us to identify each other as "more blessed" or "less blessed" based on that. It's very hurtful and discouraging when some people gauge success of others like that and make you feel as if there's something wrong with you when you don't achieve those things according to their standards (they mix worldly blessings with spiritual blessings). I'm not against marriage. However, I don't believe God blesses everyone with a marriage in this life. Like I said before, some people will use Scripture to support their agenda like with the example of marriage I've given above. They'll make it sound like marriage is a commandment and so if you don't get married- you are a either a failure or don't have God's favor in your life. I believe that both singleness and marriage are both blessings from God.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 16, 2012 7:45 pm 
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waslostnowfound wrote:
... both singleness and marriage are both blessings from God.

That's exactly right, imo, and what Paul said in his Epistles. Life as a child of God is the blessing, being married or not is neither here nor there, other then how it may impact upon our service of the Lord. Paul favours singleness in that regard, though not forbidding marriage - as others have said in this thread. I have never experienced any who have tried to teach marriage as a command for all to obey and so I was somewhat surprised by the OP.

I wonder if some of the pressure that gets put on singe people comes from the church being so on the defensive about the value of marriage, the desirability of marriage for raising children and the very definition of what marriage is, so that the lines get blurred too much. In addition, those happily married wish their happiness for their singe friends and seem oblivious to the fact that happiness is not dependent upon marital status ... or even the most important goal in life at all. Singles are made to feel left out at social functions and are either not included, or included too obviously so as to draw attention to their singleness. Or they are paired up with someone, as if we have to be in twos to function socially. Some of those who are single would dearly love to be married and have children, and struggle with being single. The grief we add to their lives is inexcusable. To be fair, some of those married may well long to be single! Sadly, sometimes our teaching uses poorly chosen examples that include some and exclude others, purely on marital status - it is assumed that all are married, or want to be, and that is unfair to those who are happy in their calling to be single.

Surely we ought to help each other see blessing in whatever state God has called us to at this moment in time and fix our eyes on what the Lord would have us be about, rather than judging each other over a matter in which there is freedom in the Lord.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:28 am 
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@ Avid Reader- Thank you for your response. I agree with what you said.
I'm not sure how widespread this view of "marriage being more like a commandment to be followed" is. I've come across this in my own life so that's why i presented it here.
The question is if the above view is an accurate interpretation of scriptures like Genesis 2:18, 24? How should a believer interpret those verses?


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 4:13 pm 
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I have always taken those verses as descriptive of what the usual pattern for humankind would be .. not as a command for each individual person.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 6:10 pm 
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@ Avid Reader- Thank you for your reply and answering my question. Obadiah said the same thing above regarding those verses. What both of you said helped me have a better perspective of those verses. God bless.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 3:44 am 
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I have 4 adult children. Both daughters are married and have children. The two sons are still single. Both have dated and remain single. Society would have them married and have others inwardly wondering if the 'don't like girls' or 'prefer' guys. God has told mankind to be fruitful and multiply. It's how the next generation comes is produced. We are also told that marriage is a sacred institution and not to be entered into lightly. And we are told to fornicate or commit adultery.
Both my sons would like to have a companion - but God has simply not blessed them with that special person in their lives, yet. And He may Never bless them in That way. But we Are to be content in the place in life that God has put us in. It's So much better to be In God's will than Out of it.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 4:36 am 
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SueD. wrote:
And we are told to fornicate or commit adultery.



Did you mean "and we are told not to fornicate or commit adultery"?

BTW, I make this kind of mistake myself a lot. I bring this to your attention not to make you feel bad, but to improve communication in the forum.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 2:53 pm 
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You have a good eye Strider33 - usually I catch mistakes from my teaching background and from my years of being a quality control inspector - you have caught several of my mistakes. Thank you.

Yes, in Genesis God did want man to be fruitful and cleave to his wife but marriage was not a requirement and there was some change in the institution of marriage since polygamy was practiced by many in the OT.
Paul addressed the concept of marriage and singleness in his letters - we are not to prohibit marriage nor are we to require it.

1 Cor 7:1-11
7:1 Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. 2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
NIV


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 4:00 pm 
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Strider 33

You're right - I meant NOT to do those things.


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