The Bible NETWork ~ Impacting the World for Christ one post at a time!

I don't know how it maintains, but it does.

By the way I just saw that my expository piece called The Roman Military in the New Testament was just posted on the Bible.org home page. I am very pleased.

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john.hopkins1954 at Skype
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johnharoldhopkins@comcast.net

As the Dad to my daughter I always tell her that pretty is who you are and not what you wear or look like.


As I was once a younger single man I understand your fears and question. Especially in this culture of obsession with superficial beauty. Once I was married (BTW, IMO to a very smart & great-looking lady) for awhile I began to realize that there was soo much more to it than just the act of self satisfaction or gratification. Being totally committed to another's needs, and they being totally committed to yours, brings a new meaning to intimacy. Knowing and being known and being able to explore all things within the privacy of the marriage nuptials is deeper that you can even begin to know. Having someone who is completely committed to you and willing to completely satisfy you and being one who is completely committed to her and willing to completely satisfy her grows only with time well spent on the relationship both mentally and physically. Being in a relationship without inhibitions and none of the awkward stuff that comes early in every relationship is very fulfilling. Having someone to know just how to please you and knowing just how to make her sqirm with delight without a word being said is very HOT! With time and with total committment comes a veritable smorgasboard of pleasure you will never imagine. Be the man she wants to give herself to and just see what her imagination can do!


A very dangerous habit which we all struggle with early. Spend time focusing on what makes her unique from all women. Work against comparing. Know this for sure: No woman is perfect and they all have faults! BTW You're not perfect either. Keep comparing and you will never find satisfaction. Rather, you will find yourself old and alone.

This is a discussion you should have with her. I warn you to make sure you are careful to choose your words. I find that most men who honor and cherish their wives have little trouble with her trying to be pretty for her husband. It is a discussion that some need to have though. With age and children there will come some changes. The same is true of you. Love who she is and you will find her looks will still be quite beautiful.


At twenty-something you wouldn't. At forty I began to see all kinds of beautiful 50 & 60 & 70 year olds. I learned to realize that beautiful has so much more to it than just the packaging. Frankly, the debth and breadth of which I've yet to plumb.
I know that the plain of my current knowledge is the vast horizon of my ignorance. Yet the little I know has me sometimes see these young girls and in effect say, "You can't even begin to hold a candle to the one who truly knows and truly loves me!" It's really not even worth the thought!

Blesings,
Randy

What a wonderful post!

Yes, Yes, and Yes!

Nothing is nore exciting that my wife of 30 years reminding me that she expects us to spend some time together that evening. Now my wife has not gotten fat , but her disability has grown worse and she cannot do many things which she used to do - yet I can not still believe she loves me.

If you do right - THINK well - you will be happy in your marriage, By the way my wife loves me even though I am fat. The deeper your love grows - the less you will even consider such things,

John

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"The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." Gal 5:6b

Pastor John C. Blackburn

Thank y'all so much for sch great, practical, godly advice. These posts contain more practical advice than most of the books I have read. I think, for me, I just need to trust in the grace of God and understand that I have no idea what deep pleasures await me after marriage. I suppose one day I'll look back and say, "now I get it.". Until then I just need to trust in the covenant that God instituted and trust in his judgement. Thanks again guys.

Even after 19 years, every time I think "It just can't get any better", by the grace of God it does. over and over. We have a plaque with a poem on it that is titled "marriage takes three". the gist - 1st Jesus, then my Spouse, then me.
God is wonderful!
I'm with PastorJohn, Great post!!!!!

May God bless you and keep you!
Robert

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The Bible NETWork Doctrinal Statement
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It helps that our eyes go bad as we get older.

And it helps to focus on the best features -- the eyes don't seem to age, and many other features keep their beauty.

Also, as I have aged, I have come to think of older women as attractive and younger women as daughters, with the two in completely different lights.

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Cobra (the car, not the poisonous reptile)
all scripture is NRSV unless otherwise noted

Niemand3D, because you asked about through the years and mentioned "pretty" once or twice I put together an album of pics of my wife and I "Through the Decades"

The first one was a few months before we were married. The last one was Christmas 2008. It is not a great picture of my wife. The smile "for the camera" distorts her face a bit, but it shows how we have changed over the years.

Without going into a lot of detail I love and appreciate her more today than Spring 1975 when the first one was taken. I am attracted to her physically as much as ever.

In general she was spectacular in 1975 and better now.

I know she looks young the year we married. We went on a long road trip on our honeymoon and I had to show a marriage certificate to get motel rooms each night.

I cannot foretell the future for you and your fiance, but I can tell you this, time need not be a threat.

I am new at this album thing on Microsoft Live, so I hope one of the links works properly.

http://cid-e3a1d5ddc147a788.photos.live ... %20Decades

http://cid-e3a1d5ddc147a788.skydrive.li ... haringLink

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john.hopkins1954 at Skype
jhhopkins1954 at Microsoft Live Messenger
johnharoldhopkins@comcast.net

I now know it was someone else who mentioned "pretty", but the rest still applies.

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john.hopkins1954 at Skype
jhhopkins1954 at Microsoft Live Messenger
johnharoldhopkins@comcast.net

Yeah, Pictures. I can relate; we just under took the task of scanning to computer all the pictures and notes we've written over the years, (We filled a 2x2 firesafe with just our notes). As I went through the hundreds of photos I saw two people I didn't even recognize, so to speak. I'm very much used to the people in my house I see today, including the one in the mirror. The neat thing is I cant REALLY tell all that much difference between My wife when we met and The beautiful Flower i hold onto today.
I remember how Solomon wrote of his girl in the Garden. (not gonna try to find it. Consider it homework, lol), his description of how he saw her, well, there's a reason we send the youngins out of the sanctuary before the message. LOL.
Anyway, Here's the Key. When I get caught staring at my wife, she loves it. Its the only, and I mean ONLY time you can stare at a woman. What a great person to oogle at. And when she says "what are you looking at?" and I stutter and can only say "uuuhhh, you." The fire flares up.
Communication means more than talking about the difficult stuff, it's also about the Beautiful things as well.

May God richly Bless your Marriages.
Robert

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Forum Code of Conduct
The Bible NETWork Doctrinal Statement
http://www.answersingenesis.org/

Thanks Robert,

And may He bless yours as well, though it seems that He has.

People out in the world are stunned when they hear about a marriage that works. I think the key is the Lord. I keep hearing that the divorce rate is the same among Christians as non-Christians, but I think that that may be partially a problem with definition.

I would not do a whole post on it, there does not seem to be a forum for shameless self promotion, but I am thrilled that my first article is posted on the main site: The Roman Military in the New Testament

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john.hopkins1954 at Skype
jhhopkins1954 at Microsoft Live Messenger
johnharoldhopkins@comcast.net

I would appreciate the address. Please send it by PM. John

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"The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." Gal 5:6b

Pastor John C. Blackburn

When I first met the one who would become my wife, she had a picture of herself that was part of an employee-of-the-year plaque (with lots signatures from her coworkers). I used to really like how she looked in that picture. But as time went on, the beauty of the picture faded because my wife looks more and more attractive to me as she gets older. I don't think it's that her surface beauty increased, but that we are more and more one.

- - - -

Sex is wonderful, but it is not meant to be the foundation for a marriage. We recently hosted a couple's retreat/fellowship at our home, and I found the following video which perfectly illustrated a talk I gave on the serve-one-another aspect of marriage. This well-known woman and her husband have a very strong and loving relationship when most of the world would scratch its head wondering how it would work.

http://www.dod.org/Products/An-Enduring-Love--The-Story-of-Ken-and-Joni-Tada--Part-II__DOD2011.aspx

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Andrew Bernhardt
"Salvation costs me nothing. Discipleship costs me everything."
my homepage / my blog

Randy,

Perfect answer! Prayer with our wives is the best way wives can know we love them. Be sweet, never raise your voice, read the bible at least once a year, remember her favorites, get to know her...I mean really know her.



Brandon

I think you answered your own question as well as anyone could. Be found seeking how God sees her and treat her as such, then if disappointment comes, most importantly, it won't be God you'll have disappointed.

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"I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had no where else to go. My own wisdom, and that of all about me, seemed insufficient for the day." ~Abraham Lincoln