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I have struggled with sexual temptation my whole life and know much of my problem comes from visuals I received when I was young. I don't want my son to fall into the same temptation/sin I have and am careful as to what I allow on the television. My wife doesn't see any issue with the shows on television where women are in bikinis... We've discussed it, but she doesn't seem to get the magnitude of destruction this can cause in my sons life.
Does anyone have any advice as to how to get it across to her this is VERY important to the future of our sons spiritual life.

Yes and No

I do have some ideas about how to explain to her that men and women are created differently and that men are more sensitive to visual images than women are, but then I would also tell you that your child is not you - and it is not the images themselves, but the way in which we treat such images that are the problem.

Bikinis are underwear designed to worn wet. They are usually less "see through" than underwear. One can make a good argument that they show too much. Yet, I do not think that bikinis can be avoided - and actualy think that the most important thing you can do - is to teach him how to deal with such visions,

My father failed to teach me. I am embarrassed by the immaturity which I later displayed. If he had told me what sex really was, how special, how holy that sex between a husband and wife is, then maybe I would not have been so stupid. I guess I am changing subjects, but here are some suggestions:

1. Do explain to your wife that men are different - even if they are stupid - they are different.
2. Make sure this is about him and not you - perhaps you need to tell your wife that you do not want to see anyone in a bikini, but her!
3. Make sure that you explain to him that love is neither sex nor romance, but rather a common purpose to serve Christ and each other, which include the cake of a lasting romance with the icing of sex -which makes that cake all the more sweet.

I always transfer the images I see to my wife - If I see cleavage, I go home and tell my wife that I thought of her cleavage; for I try to immediately move my mind from what I see to what I have seen - and will see again, for as long as God gives us to be together.

John

Thanks for the advice. You put the images in a different perspective. I will reevaluate my thought when it comes to all of this.

Every good christian woman should have a good loyal and responcible husband some one that she can yell at lie to and blame when her lover makes her pregnant.

Sorry to hear that you have having marital problems, maybe you would start another thread. Maybe people can give some advice.

Sorry to disagree with most of what I've read on this thread. When MTV hit cable, I pulled cable out of my home. My kids thought I was really mean. So much of what is on TV is dominated by sexual content. It still bothers me to watch scantilly clad women. As long as we men are alive--it will bother us.

I have a choice to continue to watch or to switch the channel or turn it off. The husband is the "pastor" of his home. What I do agree with is that often, women don't get that we males are stimulated visually while she is stimulated emotionally. For example, women love soap operas these are emotion-drenched (and often really sick when it comes to plots) Or think about "chick-flicks"-movies you hate and she loves--we'd rather be watching "Rambo"

Your son is exposed each and every day to sexual content--tv, movies, the provacative way young women--and even older one's--dress... This is a sex-saturated society. Don't know how old your son is--but it would be good to have a frank discussion about it--I failed to do that with my own son...one day I found a pornographic photo on his computer he had as a screen saver--(I ruled by intimidation)

We can do so much, and then we have to pray for ourselves, for our children and for our families. I had a pastor friend who would take his sons to the movies--and when "bad stuff" appeared, he'd put his hands on the backs of their heads and make them duck, so they couldn't see it--I often wondered how the "bad stuff" affected Him. Some of us think we are men of steel wills--big mistake.

We cannot continue to excuse ourselves from habitual sexual sin. Getting real means--I know God loves me, I know I am saved--but God is a just God. I love you brother and will pray for you, for your son and for others--including me--who are in the battle.

I hope you found this helpful.

The key for all men--no matter the age is constant vigilance--struggling with sexual sin, means to fight against it; to apply the spiritual armor we've given--it takes "training and practice"

Ephesians 6:14 14 Stand firm therefore, by fastening the belt of truth around your waist, by putting on the breastplate of righteousness, Context (NET)

--I however, don't write this as one who has arrived--when we lose a battle, we need to get up, ask God's forgiveness, truly resolve not to sin sexually again--and determine to CHOOSE Jesus over the momentary pleasure. In a nutshell, we must learn the strategies, tactics and traps of the enemy;plan ahead of time how we will deal with the attack;(running away--fleeing temptation is the biblical route we need to take;and praying for God to deliver us out of the hands of the enemy.)

jammer - some good advice, but perhaps judgmental. We should flee temptation, but a woman in a short skirt or swimming suit - in a movie - is only a temptation if we choose to make it such, We would have to completely segregate the sexes to avoid such - and that would not work because a person can lust through his imagination with out external stimulus.

I agree that the content of movies and TV has become much worse - I watch Fox News Baseball. and the History channel. My wife watches the Game Show Channel and reruns of old shows.

Nevertheless we must flee the temptation to judgementalism, just as much as we flee the temptation to lust.

John

I agree with the portion of Jammers post stating that we, as husbands, are called to be the "pastors" of our homes. We are the head of our homes. Our children submit to mother and father, wife submits to husband, and husband to the Lord. Ultimately, to the one who began this thread, you should evaluate the situation through the lenses of the Scriptures and see what you feel the Lord would see as "pleasing and glorifying to Him" to be viewed on your television. Husbands will be judged according to the stewardship that they have shown over those in their family and the way which they ran their household.

There are many questions that I would bring up when it comes to having television time in the home. The primary question would be are those who are watching the tv spending just as much time, if not more, with the Lord or in the Scriptures? We must remember that in MOST cases, what we watch on tv today is only feeding our flesh. It is imperative to make every effort to feed our Spirit as much.

Do not be afraid of being the "mean dad" because you refuse to let your children's minds be permeated with sin and the things of this world. It is our job.

My challenge to any father would be to substitute a bit of the tv time with some Scripture memorization with your kids. It doesnt have to be a "downer" or a discipline really, you could even make it fun and a competition. The point is that God emphasizes over and over in His Word the importance of having it "hidden in the heart" to prevent sin. Abiding in Christ and let His words abide in you. Tv is not intrinsically evil and I am not saying that you must to away with it all together...I'm simply saying our job is to "train up our child in the way they should go"....and the tv today often times detours that from being done.

Wes

We should not put into blame the rule of media. For me, media is only a set of options. Like tv if you know that the content of their shows has malicious acts, then we should not watch it. The decision is on the watcher not the people behind tv shows. God made us complete, we have our mind and heart to choose the good from evil.

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Isn't the desire to be able to choose the good from the evil what got us into trouble in the first place?

Actually not exactly,

Genesis 3:4-6 4 The serpent said to the woman, “Surely you will not die, 5 for God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will open and you will be like divine beings who know good and evil.” 6 When the woman saw that the tree produced fruit that was good for food, was attractive to the eye, and was desirable for making one wise, she took some of its fruit and ate it. She also gave some of it to her husband who was with her, and he ate it. Context (NET)

"knowing good and evil" was a supposed side benefit of being like the angels in the Serpent's temptation, but the heart of the temptation is "you will be like divine beings."

Knowing good and evil in an experiential sense is a tragic experience. The NT is quite clear that we need desperately to make good choices.

The NT commands us to make wise choices based upn knowledge:


John

And in every case, the process begins with God. It is God working in us that allows us to make those choices and take those actions. The choice of Adam and Eve was to do it apart from God.

I would say they made a clear choice in opposition to God's clear command. Not so much apart from God as opposed to God.
As a matter of fact we have all been opposed to Him ever since. (See Romans 3:10-18) or,

Romans 3:23 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Context (NET)

Blessings,
Randy