"How do we get people to do what we want without being controlling and manipulative?"
Answer is in the first word of Matt 7:7—ASK.
* Ask for what you want. People are not mind-readers.
* Request, not demand.
* Preserve the other person's freedom: "Feel free to say no if you don't want to or can't."
* Avoid the word "need" when it's not accurate. Use "want" instead.
* Make the request in a way that shows you are not implying the other person "should" do whatever you want, but instead shows that you realize you are not "entitled" to what you are asking for.
* Don’t remind the other person of all you have done for him or her, or some other form of manipulation that communicates they should do what you want.
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