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Hello all,

I'm writing this because my boyfriend has been called into full time ministry (we are in our junior year of college now, have been together since the age of 15). My concerns are that I do not know what exactly being a pastor's wife entails. My boyfriend is constantly telling me how hard our life is going to be because of his ministry. He says that we will be living in a "fishbowl" and that his ministry has to come before everything in our life. He tells me how many hardships we are going to endure and that I have no idea what I'm getting myself into. He is afraid that I will leave him one day, because he has heard so many stories of pastor's wives that leave their husbands after 30 years of marriage. I tell him over and over that I am fully committed to our future marriage and ministry, however after listening to him day in and day out, I am beginning to really question if it's God's will for us to be married. I was wondering can anyone help paint a picture for me of the life of a pastor's wife? I am so confused.

-Jen

Hi Jen, and thank you for your post.

I am not aware of any specific Bible instruction for Pastors wives, however, there are instructions for both wives and husbands in Scripture, as below, and which I hope will be of assistance to you.


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Eph 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
Eph 5:23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Saviour of the body.
Eph 5:24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in everything.


1Pe 3:1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,
1Pe 3:2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.
1Pe 3:3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel--
1Pe 3:4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
1Pe 3:5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,
1Pe 3:6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.


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Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

Eph 5:28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself

Eph 5:31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." [fn]

Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife [see] that she respects [her] husband.

1Pe 3:7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with [them] with understanding, giving honour to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as [being] heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

Gen 2:18 Then the Lord God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone:

When the Lord God made Adam He endowed him with certain of, but not all of the Divine qualities. When He made Eve He endowed her with the remainder of the Divine qualities, His intention being that when they came together as, "one flesh", that each half of this new union would complement the other, they would be able to help each other, the Lord's intention being that this new union would have all of the Divine qualities.

The expression, "one flesh", although including sexual union, clearly means a great deal more than that.

Different, yes, but not un equal, the woman is complementary to the man, she is neither superior, nor inferior, she is his equal, it is God's intention that each should put the other first, and endeavour to behave towards each other as,

1Cr 13:4 Love suffers long [and] is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
1Cr 13:5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
1Cr 13:6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
1Cr 13:7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Read Gal Ch 3 v 28. "There is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus".

Note "you" in this sentence is a plural noun.

In Gen Ch 2 v 18, she is described (In my English Standard Version) as "a helper fit for him", there is a foot note against the word, "for", indicating that it could be rendered as, "corresponding to", also in v 20.

Every blessing to you.

Edwin.