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I'm just a young christian going into Highschool who is trying to keep up with the work and being a better christian than I was before.

Family problem is I have an obnoxious older sister who loves procrastinating, broke away from christ, denies all help to get back on track, and wants to be independent. What I mean by independent is to have her own choice to say yes or no to what our parents tell her to do. What's the problem is my dad's a short temper type of dude (he's trying his best to change, and it's really working ) and my sister has no knowledge on how to use her words.

My dad asks her to go to staples to get something. Since it's 2 per person, he wants the most for our big family. He goes to ask my sister, she says nooo. Well, my dad asks why... she just says, "you can't order me around." It would have worked... if my dad was a loose type of guy. However, the law of chinese don't allow that. my dad would have let her stay if she said she would do her homework. She had none. Ok... my dad would have let her stay if she said she would play piano. SHe hated piano. What she really wanted to do was watch anime and manga and play some games on the ipad my dad gave her as her birthday present. I would say this is judging. But we all saw her so...yea. I'm just having problems with my dad and my sister who is like fire and water. my dad's trying to understand her, but she's just making it extremely difficult. Nowadays, I'm reading the bible and yet to find a few verses that might help my situation. However, I'm reading like 2 chapters a day, starting from yesterday. It'll take a while. I hope someone may help me. THANKS!!

Hi Sunrise,

I have grown up in a Chinese family and had a rebellious older sister, especially during my high school years. Imagine hearing metallica full blast in my sister's room every time a heated argument breaks out between her and my dad - those nights were not pretty

May I suggest two passages of scripture:

John 12:32 32 And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.” Context (NET)

I encourage you to pray for your sister and not so much focus on "trying" to convert her, but as the passage says to focus on lifting up the name of Jesus, especially in your own life. You don't draw her to Christ, but Christ does it himself. We simply need to be a faithful witness for Christ, which brings me to the second passage...

1 Corinthians 13:1-3 1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but I do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so that I can remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away everything I own, and if I give over my body in order to boast, but do not have love, I receive no benefit. Context (NET)

If we do not have the love of Christ in our words, we simply become nothing better than a recording instrument. May I suggest that you bear with your sister and learn to be gentle with her, just like Christ is patient and gentle with us, including those who are not even saved.


During my younger years I slowly learned that all my sister wanted was to be cared for and listened to. Actions speak louder than words, I hope this brings some encouragement to you.

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Studying MDiv. (Biblical Studies) at Tyndale Seminary
My Pastor's testimony "Street Kid to Preacher" - http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p ... 1A10FF286C

Thanks derek c! I'll try my best. i guess i didn't fully believe that God would do anything.

Sunrise

welcome to the forum

One of the most important lessons I ever learned in my life was that I could not change anyone .... and then the realization that God did not expect me to. What God did expect me to do was to work on myself - and for that He promises the Holy Spirit.

So, love your sister .... show her how a Christian loves and serves ... and model godly behavior before her .... and pray for her - pray hard! because only God can change her.

How wonderful that you read your bible ! Don't ever stop letting the Holy Spirit lead you to read further and longer than you thought you would.

and keep asking questions .... this is a good place to ask questions

your elder sister in Christ

Dinah

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I love my sister, and I remember somewhere in the bible, if you love someone, correct them on the right path. Problem is my sister truly is getting annoying. We're all getting very sick of it. Nowadays, I'm trying to lighten up the mood with a few jokes from school. It worked, everyone was laughing. Then after dinner, my sister started talking to my dad. It literally droped a bomb . After that, my dad started saying to us about how my sis was getting on his nerves. My sister has her beliefs and thoughts, none of my family members can change it.

I don't know, my sister just won't listen to any of us. It's kinda hard for me to see my older sister who I once admired to turn out like this. I'm pretty sure something happened but whenever I ask, she always says that everything's fine. Then what's with the bad mood? Is there any way that I can improve to show my sister the path to christ?

Sunrise

as I said - you cannot change her - only God can, that is why it is so important to pray.

You haven't given us any idea of age, but teenage girls have so many hormonal changes happening that changes of mood are common - but disturbing for the rest of the family. It can be a very hard time, but things will eventually get better.

Be a friend to her, try to make peace between her and your father, tell her you love her no matter what, that you will always be there for her.

Put yourself in her shoes ... how would you like others to treat you if you were feeling and behaving like your sister is - and then treat her like that.

Above all else, pray hard for her, and keep praying, pray at all times.

For instance, when you wake up, pray for your sister, that God will keep and guide her through the day, ask that she will feel God's love and peace to help her this day. Then through the day, whenever you think of her, pray. When your sister comes into the room, start praying that there will be peace and harmony between you. If an argument starts to develop, pray for both your sister and your father that they will be gentle and thoughtful with each other .... and so on through the day. At night, commit your sister once more into God's hands, and thank Him for helping her this day.

Don't give up! .... there is no quick solution for this.

in Christ

Dinah

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I agree with the other posters. Don't feel like you've lost your sister. She is probably just going through a hard time in her life trying to be an independent grownup, but doing it wrong. It takes a while to figure out.

You need to stop taking responsibility for peace in the family. You don't want your sister to feel like you are all ganging up on her. Trust God and your parents to handle things. Pray and live the life God calls you to. If you are calmly following Jesus, that will help all your family.