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please help me. my adult son hates me and i have tried to work things out

I hope that you are wrong - that he does not hate you - even though you believe that he hates you - even if he has stated that he hates you, because many people say things that they do not mean. You need to talk with someone where you are - a pastor perhaps - only general advice can be given on the net.

I can say that no problem is too large for God and that He does help through the most difficult of times, but you need to seek counsel from someone near you.

I will pray for you this evening.

John

Thank u Pastor John, but he does and it's mother's day--so my pain is explosive.

Fatsue

I feel your pain .... and please know that God does also. How many of those He loves deeply hate Him - and for no reason at all!

I don't know what caused this trouble between you and your son. Whichever side the fault came from (or as is often the case, there is fault on both sides), if you have offered to reconcile and have done all you can to bring it about, then time and prayer may be the only thing that you can do.

Time does heal wounds, and we will pray that this will be the case for you and your son.

But pray, for yourself as well as your son .... prayer is the most powerful force in the universe, because it connects you to Almighty God.

May God our Father rest you in His love this mother's day, and every day.

in Christ

Dinah

thank you dinah for those kind words of support

Fatsue;

I have also been where you are at. My 27 year old son has despised me for a number of years. I'm not sure why it began, but I believe it began because I was in the Air Force and was sent to South Korea.

But no matter what, I continued to pray for him. Through all those years of mother's day, birthdays, celebrations - he wasn't there. But I prayed.

Our God is a very big God. And the one thing I learned is that BIG situations should go to a BIG God! The situation with my son was too big for me. I couldn't change him or make him love me. I could only cry and pray on his behalf.

Then one day he called me. This time there were tears of joy. He came back and apologized to me. He said he loved me... oh how I loved those words.

then he met his new wife and she became pregnant.... the blessing was... I got to see the birth of my little grandson! God DOES restore!!!

God will restore you all the years, the pain, the suffering... when there is nothing else to do - just stand!!!

Janice

oh thank you. what did you pray for?

I see that when parents show respect, love, and care to their parants (thier children's grandfather and grandmother), the result is that the children learn to love their parents as well. I hope it is not too late in your case. Hope that your son will realize soon that you are his mother who carried him for 9 months, and was impatiant to see her son grow up and become a man. The mother who would do anything to see her child happy and satisfied. Your case is not rare. Many parents do not get what they really deserve from their children. But still I think that part of this problem is because of the parents themselves. Parents usually give their children the best education, clothes, and food, but they forget about other things that are more important such as how to be closer to God, how to respect your parents, and how to be good to people around you.

I will smile,

One of my favorite sports guys, Roger Federer, spends a lot of time in Dubai, and I think he lives there part of the year. I know UAE is not a large place... Have you ever seen him?

S

Fatsue;

My prayers were for restoration specifically... restore my son... and restore the years. Although, I was curious how the Lord would restore the years...my imagination would run wild. How would the Lord God resotre the years? I mean, I know He can wind back time... but would He?

At any rate, that day when I looked at my most handsome little grandson... the son of my son... that's when I realized - the years were already restored. I have the pleasure to hold my grandson, kiss him, love him, cuddle him, and teach him all the things I failed to teach my son in the past.

Restoration... those were the words I prayed.

Restore my son - restore the years... So simple - yet so powerful. My Father heard my payers and Restored!

Blessings to you and yours,

Janice

thanks mama janice. as i sit here in the hotel room
(my son's wedding this weekend). he's in town but i havent heard a word from him. i guess he will see me at his wedding. it is soooooooooo painful. your words mean a lot to me. i will pray those words starting now. thank you

Family matters are often so deeply painful that it can be very hard to talk about them with honesty and courage. Yet each of us live with the results, good or bad, from how we interact with one another over the years. Without getting too much detail what happened to cause this sad situation Fatsue?

Fatsue;

The Lord already knows your prayers. Your heart has already cried out to Him. The Lord will turn your son around in the way and manner (and time) He has chosen to turn him around... be patient and know that God is still God - He is able.

Enjoy your son's wedding. Maybe you will soon be able to hold your grandson too....

My nephew began rebelling at about 16 years of age by the time he was 18 he really hated both his parents. What did they do wrong? Apparently not enough but he turned out to be (like he was when he was a little boy) a strong and loving husband and hopefully a father in the next two years. He was heavily into drugs and was doing some illegal things. His parents (although not the best communicators in the world) did everything concerned parents could do under the circumstances. Being Christian parents they had the Bible as their reference. All of the family (including me. I’m his only Aunt on his father’s side and he is the first-born grandson. so he was like a son to me also) all of us kept remembering the story about the prodigal son (Luke 15:11) and how although being a very good person in the beginning went off to lead a debauched life. After all was said and done he came back with such a repentful attitude that his father greeted him with open arms and great gifts and praise. This is how all of us feel about my nephew right now. Sometimes age has something to do with the attitude and perhaps some kind of peer pressure going on. If drugs are added into the mix then there standing before you is a person unknown to you. There are some children that are just down right spoiled in their attitude. These ones need to go help out in a soup kitchen or something. They need to know that many others have it far worse than they. Just my two little cents worth.

I have to agree MamaBibleLover5. The kids today - or many of them - seem to be somewhat spoiled. But I must admit, its mostly the fault of the parents.

We grew up thinking that our "toys" were whatever we found outside (i.e. drawings in the sand). It was a simple life where everyone joined together to play "red light/green light." But somehow we felt we were without, when in fact, we were "rich" with friends and family life. Therefore, we promised that our kids would get more than we did.

I think when we promised to give our kids more - and gave them more, we deprived them of what's most important... spending time outside playing with friends and family drawing in the sand.

The simple life is most of the times - the most prosperous.