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God bless you . Yes i will put into consideration all your inputs.
Pls explain to me these verses in the following books. Judges, isaiah, ephesians,jerimaih, job, 5:24-26. I heard this verses in my sleep but didn't recall the exact book so i read the bible from Gen to Rev.

Matt, with all due respect, I will be honest with you - I do not have any confidence in what you imagine you might have "heard" in your sleep, or what you and others might have "dreamed" about. I'm sorry, but if you want to base SERIOUS thoughts of marrying someone on that kind of thing, you'll get no encouragement from me - I consider that kind of thing to be very, VERY lacking in good sense and wisdom.

And I don't want you to merely "consider" my concerns - I want you to actually engage with them here on this message board. Here are my concerns AGAIN:

I was disturbed from your very first post by your starting out with, "i have been praying for a wife. i told God the kind of wife i want and characters that my wife should have." First of all, I find it very full of SELF and arrogant for you to be "telling" God what characteristics your wife should have. Who are you to dictate to God what characteristics your wife should have?

Secondly, and very related to the above - I strongly believe that what you need to be FAR more concerned about is that of you BEING the right person yourself, rather than you FINDING the right person. The concern in your posts is whether or not this woman is 'right' for you. You know what, Matt? That's a two way street - What makes you imagine that YOU would be 'right' for her?

Thirdly (and I've mentioned this), I believe you're putting way too much confidence in both your own and other people's dreams. Personally, I would NEVER, EVER base serious thoughts of marrying someone on the basis of what I or someone else dreams.

Fourthly - You say your pastor told you to pray about this. I'm willing to venture that that's not all he said - What ELSE did he say, Matt?

As to whether or not you should marry her - I don't know the answer to that. Neither does anyone else here. As has already been said - That's something that only intensive pre-marital counseling can reveal. You VERY MUCH need to find a good counselor. And, understand this - I mean no disrespect, but that may not be your pastor.

Besides this, there's the reality that you're not just contemplating marriage; you're contemplating becoming a family all at once. The issues involved here are LARGE and SIGNIFCANT, and again, only intensive pre-marital counseling can help with this. To put it plainly - What makes you think that you're ready to not only be a husband, but also a father?



Jim

ok thanks. But i want you to explain to me in detail about what you are refering to i being arrogant. My God that serve tokd me to seek, ask and knock. I told him my heart desire because he told me to ask and put him first and plus he is the perfect match maker and therefir i want God's perfect will to be done in my life. So where did i go wrong praying my wife? The bible talks about a virteous wife so i prayed for a virteous wife and a wifenthat has characteristicslike ruth and the wife discribe in proverb 31. compatibility and agreeing is a big issue in marriage. To avoid that i made my heart desires known to God.
I believe my God speak to us in different ways. Either via dream, his words etc.

Matt - Asking, seeking and knocking is one thing. However, that is not what you wrote - You wrote that you TOLD God what kind of characteristics your wife should have. That's something different from "asking for" or "desiring" His will. The way you wrote it, it really appears as if you are putting your SELF in the position of dictating to God. Not a good idea.

And - You still have not engaged with what I wrote about the need to be FAR more concerned with your BEING the right person yourself, rather than you FINDING the right person. The concern in your posts is whether or not this woman is 'right' for you. As I've said, Matt - that concern a two way street. So - What makes you imagine that YOU would be 'right' for her? Maybe you are; maybe you're not. How will you discern that? And, how will this lady discern that?

And - You still have not shared what ELSE your pastor said to you.

And, in terms of the ways God can speak to us - I stand by what I said: If you want to put confidence in imagining what God is saying to you in your dreams or in the dreams of others - I'm sorry, but I will not encourage you with that. There are far more reliable ways of receiving guidance than that. I would NEVER, EVER base SERIOUS thoughts of marrying someone on the basis of dreams, nor would I encourage anyone else to do that.



Jim

One week later:


Matt - I'm going to suggest that your not getting back to me regarding the question I've put to you is..."revealing."




Jim

yes i know i am not perfect but i am praying and working on being the right person for my wife to be. to have more things in common and be able to see the same spiritual things as she does.

That's good to read, Matt. It is more important for you to be the right person yourself than it is to find the right person.

I note that you are referring to this lady as your "wife-to-be." Does this mean you are formally engaged to be married?

Also - What does it mean to "see the same spiritual things that she does"?

I look forward to your response to this, and to the other things I've asked you about. I am particularly interested in what ELSE your pastor told you besides what you have shared already.



Jim

not yet engage but we are praying and seeking the face of God and His perfect will. with faith i consider her to be my wife in the future that why i said wife to be.

spiritual things, i am referring to agreeing upon the word the of God, things of God, living a lifestyle that pleases God and bring him honor and glory, raising the kids in the ways of the Lord, same Godly beliefs and values. willing to be virtuous wife and i being a good, faithful and righteous shepherd. living by God's instruction, guide and traditions and not by worldly or human or man made traditions and philosophies .

Since he told me to pray and seek the face of the lord. i haven't heard from him. He said God knows the best and he is human and he is also praying with us. He said, same faith, beliefs, spirit, compatible and understanding are the most important keys to know and agree upon before marriage.

Matt - I'm sorry, but the phrases you're using are unclear. I do not know what you mean by them. When you write the following....

"i am referring to agreeing upon the word the of God,"

** What is it about the Bible that you need to agree on?

"things of God,"

** What "things", specifically?

"living a lifestyle that pleases God and bring him honor and glory,"

** What does that look like, on a day by day level?

"raising the kids in the ways of the Lord,"

** Same question - What does that look like, on a day by day level?

"same Godly beliefs and values"

** Same question - What does that look like, on a day by day level?

"willing to be virtuous wife and i being a good, faithful and righteous shepherd."

** Same question as before.

living by God's instruction, guide and traditions and not by worldly or human or man made traditions and philosophies.

** Same question as before.




Jim

Matt, it's been over 7 days now. Are you planning to respond to my questions?



Jim

i am sorry i have been so busy. pls make a quote of the post that you want me to reply to

Matt, the post you haven't responded to has to be the one here.

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Well, Matt??

Are you going to respond to my questions or not?

If you're not, then please just say so.




Jim