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My husband and I have been married 25 together 27 in ministry for 22 years. To make a long story short this past August I started getting dreams and visions and warnings for my husband. He did not heed them,He turned into someone I didn't even know. I went to our pastor, I battled in the spirit for 9 months May 4th the truth came out in public my husband had a 5 month affair (he also has a high profile job) it was in the media.If he would have heeded detail dreams it would not have happened. I have been devestated we were seperated for a month my plan was a divorce, I was told to wait 6 months, since then I feel like the Lord wants me to restore the marriage. We might loose our church,Our children hurt,the church family hurt,and community hurt everyday is so hard watching his pain and consequences(The husband I knew is back but broken and depreessed, he can't belive he did this), and my own pain of betrayal and lose of trust and my own pride and confusion. My flesh wants to run.... Prayer and advise welcomed.

Sin is devastating and the betray;a of adultery is especially hard. Yet nothing, absolutely nothing is more significant that the death, burial, and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.

The first task is for both of you to mend your marriage - there needs to be confession, repentance, forgiveness, and restoration. This will require all to be submissive to the word and also to be empowered by the Spirit.

The marriage must be restored, the ministry may then also follow.

John

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"The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." Gal 5:6b

Pastor John C. Blackburn

I am not a pastor but it seems clear to me from scripture that your husband's adultery has disqualified him from leadership in the church:

"An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from the love of money. He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?), and not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil." (I Timothy 3:2-7)

By the same token, the Scripture shows that, while divorce may be allowed in circumstances involving adultery, nonetheless, your resolve to restore you marriage would be preferable bacause God hates divorce (Mal 3:16) because it destroys the picture of Christ and His bride the church. So hang in there. Trust God's Holy Spirit to provide you with the forgiveness you need to truly forgive you husband and restore your marriage. Count on the fact that your husband's affair did not catch God by surprise, because "we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." All things means, well, ALL THINGS. So just as Joseph's brothers meant their actions against Joseph for his harm, God meant them for good. Count on that and rejoice in that.

"Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. " (Romans 5:1-5)

These promises are for you (and your husband), but only if you know and trust Jesus Christ as your Savior. Cling to them and watch how God might use them in your life for His glory and for your good.

Father, I pray for Chel and her husband now. Fill her with your grace, that she might be able to know your will and that You might empower her not to know it only, but to do it. I pray for her husband, that he would truly repent, with a repentance not from the sufferings and shame of having been caught in sin, but from a deeply felt sense of the evil of sin, having offended You, who provided a great salvation through the blood of Your Son. In His Name I pray, and am certain that others join me in this. Amen.

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All Scripture quotations are New American Standard Bible, unless otherwise indicated.

Chel

I do not speak as a pastor .... but as a woman and a wife .... and as your sister in Christ.

If you are both willing and truly committed to your marriage, then with God's help yes, it can be restored.

This will take time, and effort from both of you .... and most importantly, good, Christian, marriage counseling by professionals.

It may be necessary for your husband to stand down for a time at least .... but at the very least, he must make sure there is enough time for the hard work of rebuilding your relationship.

This will take time, and much prayer, and the support of your church family, and the support of your physical family and friends. Also, please make sure your children are also counseled and helped, as this can leave scars on young hearts and minds as well.

Above all, be very wary of outward healing that does not deal with the deep issues, or they will surely re-surface at a later time.

But God is faithful, and He hates divorce, and He will help you both if you are both truly willing.

May God our Father keep you in His peace, may Christ our Savior cleanse you from your sins by His blood, may the Holy Spirit fill you with strength you need.

in Christ

Dinah

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Thank you for your prayers, this is the most painful thing we have ever gone through.My pain by his hand. I believe that God has called me to restore the marriage but honestly sometimes I don't know if I can do it. I didn't sleep for 20 days being woke up with anxiety attacks and I cry in my sleep. He has repented and is depressed, he is the guy I loved with everything I had again.(for almost a year he was a stranger in my home and treated me horrible) He treats me wonderful now . We were the model couple people had said, we were so blessed .... it is so sad everyday. I have no feelings, I am numb. God was and is so faithful, but it has affected my realationship with Him which has always been so close. We are in counseling twice a week, but I wonder if it will ever be the same? I have forgave him but will I ever forget? The images in my mind and I wonder about his mind. Also I pray that she is removed from the city because he will have to go where she works to conduct business, She goes for married men and I pray she doesn't do this to another man,wife or family. My husbands good name has been ruined, his lose so great I hurt for him. I pray God renew and refresh and refill us to be able to do His will. I could write a book on how this happened......
Heartbroken and hanging on to Jesus.........

Chel

I am so glad you are going to counseling .... keep going, keep fighting for your marriage.

Sometimes our inner healing takes time, especially if the hurt has been deep. But God is faithful, and He has promised you His love and His presence to help you walk one step at a time, one day at a time.

Keep clinging to Jesus, He is your strength and your joy.

your sister in Christ

Dinah

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It is a very hard situation. It is not a minor problem that you can easily forget. The very first thing you need to do is to pray. Prayer is the best, powerful in all times. I know it’s not easy to forgive, and I didn’t know what the feeling that you feel right now is. And there is no way to separate man and woman that union by God except death. My advice is both of you must have a peaceful talk because I believe it is powerful than to talk with full of anger. Then you also need marriage counseling because it will guide you through the hard times and it will help you step by step on working out the problem.

God is always there. When we are in deep trials, He will never lead us. He promised that, His word and promised never fails. Just trust God and leave all your burdens to Him.

Annecaley07,

Welcome to the forum! You do realize that Chel last posted here about 2 years and 6 months ago...don't you?

Blessings,
Randy

Beloved Sister Chel : Shalom to all , Sister * Broken and hanging on to Jesus * ... i feel compassion for you as others here in your time of hurt and sorrows by someone that you made a covenant with ... God our Maker ... !!! ... I recommend taking Brother Pastor John*s and Dcljoy*s advice on your marriage ... to forgive your husband ... as Christ has Forgiven you ... and to fight the devil that by him being the * prince and the power of the Air * has used his angels to cause Havoc in your lives ... the devil comes to steal , rob , and destroy ... !!! ... As the Devil ( Father of lies ! ) used Cain to LIE to The Lord ... am i my brother*s Keeper ... ??? ... After Killing Able his brother ... and Robbing Adam and Eve of their Son Able that came from the Lord ... and Destroyed his Body ... ??? Death to Able !!! ... Three things that the devil our enemy is trying to do in the lives of people ... believers or Not ... ??? ... Forgiveness is a Commandment from Jesus Christ and the Father of Light ... To disobey is rebellion to the Word of God ... !!! ... Sister * Greater is he that is in you ... then he that is in the world * ...1John4:4-8 ... so be a better person and Trust in Jesus Christ for the Lord looks for a * Broken and a contrite - humble heart * ... and Pray for your husband , your Church and the believers there , your friends and loved ones ... Etc. ... for the Lord to guide you and your husband to God*s Purpose and Love ... !!! ... Jesus didn*t Give Up on Peter and the other 11 disiples when they said they would Die for Christ ... and later Fled for their lives when Jesus was arrested ... ??? !!! ... That was written to Comfort us and to let us know that like Jesus Said : * I will never leave you or forsake you * ... A Promise ... !!! ...I as others here are praying with and for you and your loved ones to be strong in the Lord and be of Good Courage ... Faith Hope Peace Mercy Love from Mount Zion ...Micah4:1-2 ...bless everyone amen shalom bye !!!...