The Bible NETWork ~ Impacting the World for Christ one post at a time!

The last of the saga...maybe.

I wanted to end on this because it was so unusual and strange to me. I had read about this happening to people but I never, ever believed, not only would it happen to me, but believed that it was impossible to happen to anyone....that others were just making it up.

My daughter had gone back to her 2nd husband after several months of separation. She had had a new baby and taken her two older children from her previous marriage with her also. The children's father lived here and was/is an excellent Dad and I was completely convoluted by my daughter's life and choices. I missed her and the children so badly, I feared for her safety and for the marriage, and I had wanted him out of mine and her life from the time she was in high school when they had first met and dated. I would often drive by the street where he and his parents had lived and I would actually thank God (seriously!) that he was forever gone and I'd never have to see him again. He had been so emotionally unstable even back then.

But to jump to just a few months ago and the point of my posting.

I was in the process of adjusting and accepting that she and the children were gone. I had a very deep anger towards her husband for the abuse and pain that he had caused our daughter and the uproar that had resulted. In my heart I did not want their marriage to work. She had divorced before and secretly I hoped that she would come to her senses and leave him and come "home" and we could all be together again. She had made an unBiblical divorce before, so why not again? Honestly, I was a mess. I was in a deep depression. I only wanted my daughter and her children back.

One morning I was listening to Tony Evans' teaching on the radio while I was doing some housework. I always turn it off when the teaching is over because I'm not too keen on Christian music; especially contemporary. But this morning my hands were wet and I was scrubbing so I let it go. The next sound I heard was Steve Green singing "People Need the Lord". I instantly jerked myself up. My precious daughter's marriage was a constant preoccupation in my mind and I KNEW this music was no accident. You know how you know that you know?? I knew that a certain person needed the Lord.

I was so angry because I felt the conviction in my heart. I knew my attitude towards her marriage, her husband, her future were completely un-Christian and rebellious. With my rubber gloves still on, I fell face down on the floor in front of the radio and fussed at God. I told Him that I was not going to pray for Jef, that I did NOT want their marriage to work, that I hated him deeply and all that he had done to us all, and that I did not Care if he went to hell!!! And I meant it! I spilled my guts (or heart ) out to Him. I was very angry because I KNEW this was no accident and that something very strange was happening and that I was being confronted. I'm amazed that I was not blasted for my irreverence and even blasphemy. But He let me just pitch a fit and say all I wanted to say....and then........I had to...I HAD to pray for his salvation. I could not NOT do it. Nothing, and I mean nothing, had ever happened like this before. I gave up (or in) and prayed for their marriage, for his salvation, that God would build them a Godly home and that He would glorify Himself in the midst of all that had been done wrong. I could not believe that I had actually done that.

I got up from the floor with a different heart. I can remember laughing because it was sooooo not me! My heart was changed. I didn't hate him anymore.

It's been several months now. I have been over to visit for just a few hours at a time. The baby girl is almost a year old. They are working on their marriage and I can see that they both are committed. He still has issues but there is no longer the abuse. I pray that that continues. But this isn't really about the change over there, it's about the change in me. I'm still amazed that the desire for their marriage to work is still there. I'm amazed that the bitterness and resentment is gone. I'm sure it has helped that I see some changes there; but the change was in me.....and I had nothing to do with it. It did not come from anywhere within me. I didn't orchestrate it or create it. God DID! Whoo-Hoooo!

(I think that was just a testimony.

Wow!!! Praise the Lord!

You give me hope jatfla, that family stresses we are facing now can also be healed by the power of the Holy Spirit working in the lives of those how are his.

(I wish I was good at the smiley thing - there must be a praising God one somewhere!)

_________________
Avid Reader

“Lord, in my zeal for love of truth, let me not forget the truth about love.” - Thomas Aquinas
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Forum Code of Conduct
Forum Statement of Beliefs

and WOW what a testimony!

My precious sister in Christ .... at last, at last .... you have been confronted by the Living Christ, and when that happens ... we are never the same ... we are forever changed!

Oh how glad I am for you .....

Another wonderful thing, is that you have also experience the way God 'speaks' to us (or at least one of the ways) ... also, reconsider 'modern' Christian music ... some of it is very beautiful, and God certainly uses it too (as well as our favorite hymns).

Music is a valuable resource because it encourages us to focus on God even while we are doing other things ... this melody ... these words .... run like a lovely refrain behind all the everyday things .... and so helps us to bring God into them .... and keeps us conscious of His presence.

But I am so glad ... you have blessed me with your testimony ... thank you.

Praise and glory to our God .... who as Christ promised, has not left us as orphans, but Who lives in us ... in us .... and fills our mouths with singing and our hearts with joy.

may you be truly, richly and deeply blessed in your walk with Him

Dinah

_________________
Forum Code of Conduct
Forum Statement of Beliefs

Wow~ You guys are fast!

The important thing that I know is that I could not make any of this happen. How many times I have prayed. And nothing happens. We can't 'make' Him respond to us or manipulate Him. He just intervenes whenever He wants to. It's so frustrating to have a very real need; one that is so serious to us. All the while we bang on heaven's floor and nothing.... "Who can know the mind of the LORD"? I think that's the hard part. When we're knocking and there appears to be no answer.

This the is funny part. All those years (13) I drove by his street and I thanked God that Jef was gone from our lives forever. When he re-appeared and our daughter married him I was beyond mad...and mad at God!!! And when I drove by that street I would fume. Now, not only was he back! he was married to my child and his daughter was my Grandchild!!! The irony was maddening. I felt like the cruelist joke had been played on me...and God had allowed it or worst, orchestrated it!

Now I drive by that street (on my way to tennis) and I have to believe that He has something; no, HAD something in mind all along for all of us. If I didn't think/feel that way I don't think I could face the future. But it was all to surreal to doubt it.

(Dinah...keep reminding me of this, ok?)

Dear one

that is the thing .... to remember. .... but now that you know, you expect God to actually interact with you .... and also, you realize that He is really interested in your day to day life.

The necessary thing is surrender .... it has to be as He desires... we have to learn to trust.

so hang on .... God is soooo worth it.

joy

Dinah

_________________
Forum Code of Conduct
Forum Statement of Beliefs

My heart still sings when I re-read this thread! God is good!

_________________
Avid Reader

“Lord, in my zeal for love of truth, let me not forget the truth about love.” - Thomas Aquinas
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Forum Code of Conduct
Forum Statement of Beliefs

Yes, my heart sang all night too...

And Jatfla ... thank you so much for sharing with us .... it is so encouraging to hear how God works in us and with us and through us.

blessings

Dinah

_________________
Forum Code of Conduct
Forum Statement of Beliefs

Hi everyone-

I'm new to this board and am trying to reconnect with God after almost ten years of separation. I guess my question is how do you keep forgiving someone who hurts you constantly? How do you forgive that person when she is your own mother? My boyfriend Darren and I broke up two months ago; he is the love of my life. When she saw how upset I was, she asked me if I wanted her to call Darren. I told her no. Unbeknownst to me she started calling him nonstop at work. At first, she was trying to get us to reconcile. When this did not work, she began telling him that he wasn't good enough for me, that I could find someone better than him. I found out about all of this when I went to his house to talk to him. I feel very strongly that if she did not intervene, we would be together. And even now, two months later, she continues to say things to me that just hurt. Talking to her tonight, she told me that he's met someone new already. She's constantly saying stuff like this to me; I know she's trying to help but all these little talks make me feel sick in the pit of my stomach. They prevent me from being able to move on. Instead I obsess about whether or not what she's said is true and I fall deeper into a depression. Many days I just want a break from my mother; I don't feel that we have a healthy relationship. I feel that she wants me to "need" her. She's always telling me that the only person that I can depend on is her. She tells me that I can't depend on friends, church, or God. I'm angry with her because my faith is the only thing that is keeping me from falling apart and she's trying to take that away from me. Please help.

Rena

Rena

The most important thing in your life is your relationship with God ... hold on to that with all your being. It is on your relationship with God, that all your other relationships depend.

So spend time with your Father in heaven each morning, before you get out of bed. Ask Him for strength to cope with the day, ask Him to help you to do all that you should, and to live fully this day which is His gift to you. Ask Him to help you to forgive those who sin against you ..... You need to begin each day filled with God's strength.

It is hard from the little you have told us, but I think your mother has done all these things because she genuinely loves you and wants to help you ....

All mixed up with this is her fear of rejection, of losing you, of being left alone with no-one to love or to love her. This is made much worse if she does not have a living relationship with God.

The result is, she is doing all the wrong things, and doing the thing she fears most, driving you away.

This is the story of sinful humanity .... our needs are so great that we become desperate for those needs to be met. But it is this very behavior that drives people away from us.

Also it is important to understand if this in some sense true of your relationship to your boyfriends. Ifyou are looking to your boyfriend to give you love and meaning for your life. Ultimately only God can meet these needs. Only God is big enough not to be drowned by the sheer size and strength of our need.

Live each day at a time, or even an hour at a time if need be, and constantly ask your Father in Heaven to hold you, to give your strength, to forgive you - and to help you to forgive others. Do this as often as your need to.

It is very helpful to memorize the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13), that way you can say it to yourself over and over again.

Notice how in that prayer Jesus first points us to God Himself ... this centers us, it puts things into perspective.

Then Jesus tells us bring our needs to God ... notice, it is for today - this day's need.

The next thing is forgiveness ... we sin against God every day, so we need His forgiveness every day. And as we ask God to forgive us, though we sin again and again (and often the same sin), so we need to forgive others - but we can and should ask God to help us to so.

Then Jesus tells us to ask for protection from the enemy - we have an enemy whose agenda is to destroy us and to destroy our relationships.

Please find a Bible-believing, Bible-preaching church, and join a small group who will pray for you and support you. None of us can do this on our own.

But never forget, that God is your Father, and He loves you. He has promised never to leave you or abandon you - and God keeps His promises.

in Christ

Dinah

Hebrews 13:5-6 5 Your conduct must be free from the love of money and you must be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you and I will never abandon you.” 6 So we can say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper, and I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” Context (NET)

_________________
Forum Code of Conduct
Forum Statement of Beliefs

Dinah-

What basically happened with Darren was that we broke up because I stopped living each day like it was a blessing to be with him; I stopped appreciating him. I took for granted that he would always be there and instead started focusing on all the wrong things. I wanted him to clean the house the way I did it, the laundry had to be done the way I wanted it to be, and so forth. And one night I started yelling at him because he was throwing silverware into one of my pots and I was worried about my pot getting scratched up. Darren got mad at me and we started arguing. He told me that I was focusing on all the wrong things in life. I asked him if he thought he was God, telling me what parts of me needed to be changed. So he got really angry with me and broke up with me on the spot. I told him that I wanted to talk things out and when we sat down to talk, I told him that I would try to change but that I couldn't say that I definitely would change. At the same time, I told him that I couldn't say that I definitely would not change either. Instead of working things out, I chose instead to just hold a grudge. He told me that it was late and that we should go to bed and talk. But when we got in bed, he wouldn't talk to me so I just let it go until morning. And the next morning as I was leaving for work, I asked him if we could talk more when I got home. He told me yes so I left for work. I later sent him a text telling him that I loved him and he sent me a text back saying that he loved me too but that he didn't think it would work. He told me that he had moved out.

So there's not a day that goes by that I don't regret the events of that night. I pray, I mean, I really pray to God every night to give me strength...to help me persevere. I hate myself for driving Darren away. I've contemplated suicide on so many occasions but I hold on to the belief that God has a purpose for this. That he has a plan in mind for me. But it's so hard waiting for that plan to unfold.

I know that we can't depend on other human beings and that we can only depend on God. But why is it wrong to look for others to give us love? I know that human beings are sinful but shouldn't we have a little bit of faith in others? Isn't faith your heart being open and receptive to love, whether it be God's love or the love of others? I have faith in God but I also want to have faith in human beings. Is that wrong? I guess I just don't want to live a life based on fear. I don't want to live life fearing that others will hurt me.

Dinah, I know that you're right about my mother. She is only doing these things out of love for me but it's hard to remind myself of that each day. I ask God every day to help me forgive her. I tell myself that I have to forgive her because God forgives me for everything that I've done wrong. Just tonight she called me up to talk about her upcoming wedding and she told me that she wanted me to dress up so I could meet someone. I told her that I did not want to be set up and I just wanted to go to her wedding for her. So we ended up getting into a fight. She later calls me back and tells me that she doesn't want me to come to her wedding. I say fine and hang up with her. Then she calls back again and tells me that she no longer wants anything to do with me; that I am now my father's responsibility (my parents are divorced). I tell her that I don't want to fight with her and I hang up on her. She calls back a fourth time and tells me that she will never contact me again. She has since called another three times and I've just ignored the calls; I don't want to fight with her. What am I doing wrong? I said a prayer between every phone call but she just won't stop. She keeps calling and trying to hurt me. Why is she doing this?

I'm sorry that this post is just a ramble. I just feel lost and I need help making sense of my life.

Rena