The Bible NETWork ~ Impacting the World for Christ one post at a time!

Hi
I am new here and although I had gone to church my whole life I am a new Christian of about 2 1/2 months ago! Praise God! As my title suggests - I am married to a man who is not a Christian - at least I don't believe he is. He has difficulties in believing the Bible is the true Word of God and although he says he believes there is a God and Jesus, he is not sure and he certainly isn't trying to pursue God in any outward way. He has been somewhat supportive of my new life in that he will watch our 21 month old son when I go to church so he doesn't have to be in the Nursery...although it is also an excuse so that he doesn't have to come with me! But he often hints that maybe I have found someone else and am seeing them instead of going to church or maybe even that there is someone I have found AT church. (Background info - he was married before and she cheated on him so he is quite sensitive in this area). I tell him that there is someone else - JESUS! He is not amused....anyway, my struggle is that I seem to be able to function pretty well at my job (there are several Christians at work) and can be quite generous and loving to relative strangers. But when I go HOME is when everything is hard! We have a LOT of communication problems and he takes everything personally and I am sure I am a part of our troubles as well. I am having such a hard time being a good example and witnessing to him through my actions. I feel like a hypocrite sometimes - I read the Bible and go to church and pray and listen to wonderful Christian music and teachings, but I feel like I am not changing enough on the inside to change my dysfuntional interactions with my hubby. I try to give the controls of my life to Jesus on a daily basis, but I get home and I'm still the same old easily-angered, quick-to-insult, selfish person! Anyway, not sure there is really a question in here, but just venting and looking for encouragement....
Thanks for reading!

Welcome to the Garden, whatdoiknow. I hope some of the other ladies add encouraging comments for you!

Many Christian ladies are, or have been, married to non-believers. My husband did not become a Christian until a few years into our marriage, and the time until then had moments just as you describe - though it was a long time ago now. Our eldest daughter has a non-believing husband - who now comes regularly to church and seems to be softening to Christian things, but it has been many years of trying to be faithful witnesses by all of us. A few things that hope might encourage you:

Firstly, though you have been born again, the work of the Holy Spirit to make you day by day more like Jesus has only just begun. It will take the rest of your life, so do not be too hard on yourself for not yet being perfected. Don't give up the struggle, of course, but don't expect an instant 100% change in the old self. At least you are aware of falling short and your conscience is alive - that is the Spirit reminding you that he is working on you still.

Secondly, it is great that you have some other Christians at work. That is a blessing not everyone has. Can they pray for you?

Home is by far the hardest place to witness. At home we relax, all of our old bad habits are so well known, and our very weakest moments are seen. I suggest just trying to love your husband to the utmost of your ability and not worrying too much about actually speaking of your faith, unless he raises the topic. Do gently let him know he is welcome to go to church with you at any time - that should help put to rest the jealousy thing ... you are not hiding anything from him. Your love, your respect and your faithfulness will be their own witness in time. Pray that God will raise up Christian men who can befriend your husband and eventually speak to him about the gospel. Pray and leave it to God - it is the Holy Spirit who converts people, not us. We are called to be obedient in out lives by exhibiting faith and love.

Meanwhile ... feel free to vent here! There are wise and wonderful ladies around ... I am sure they will start to respond to your post once they get time to check out the Forum. Not everyone is around daily, so do allow some time. There are patient eyes to listen.

Check out some of our other topics while you wait - it's been far TOO quiet here in the Garden for a while now. Again, WELCOME!

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Avid Reader

“Lord, in my zeal for love of truth, let me not forget the truth about love.” - Thomas Aquinas
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Dear Sister in Christ

firstly, welcome to the family!

secondly, Avid has given good and godly advice ......

My husband was not a believer when we met, then had a conversion experience but a few years into our marriage he just seemed to lose interest in spiritual things.

The most important thing you can do is to pray ..... at any moment that your thoughts turn to your husband or to home, pray God's blessing for him, and pray for peace in your home. Ask God to help you see your husband through the eyes of Christ, and to love your husband with the love of Christ .... to love and forgive as you have been loved and forgiven.

How can any of us can do these things in our own strenght .... , that is why we all still pray, and God is faithful. Remember always, God loves you and He loves your husband.

Don't try to convert him, just love him ... and answer his questions when he asks. But talk to each other, good communication is the secret to any successful relationship ......
(btw it is also the secret of a good relationship with God, that is why prayer and reading the bible are so important - they are the means to getting to know God).

I found these verses very helpful in dealing with my husband's family, and unbelievers in general ....



and feel free to talk to us here, and let us pray with you and for you

your sister in Christ

Dinah

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Hello and welcome!

I'm new here too!
I'm not in an unevenly yoked marriage, but I do have encouragement for you. My mother-in-law became a believer shortly before she was married and didn't know about the unevenly yoked thing. Unfortunately her husband didn't decided to be a believer. She has had a rough road, but it's been very encouraging for me to see her live out her dedication and love of Christ in her marriage. She willingly serves him, even though he is a very discouraging and ungrateful person. Even when she knows that she is in the right on an issue she will gently state her opinion and let him lead in his decision, regardless of if it is a good one or not. He does know about her faith, as she's told him, but he's made it clear he's not interested. In these times, like the others have said, you demonstrate your faith in the way you live your life.

And also like the other said, don't be discouraged that you are not perfect. None of us are! I'm learning how to submit and be gentle with my tongue as well in my marriage! It takes time, practice, prayer, and accountability from others!!

I greatly encourage you to become involved in a "growth group" at your church if they have them. This more in-depth time will be very helpful to you as other women can help share your burden by giving you encouragement, prayer, and hugs. Because you aren't around believers at home, this can be really, really encouraging!

I will pray for you to have joy and continue to love your husband the way that God loves us.

Hugs!

Jasanna